YE MORDHEIM LEGENDS GAZETTE
18 Angestag, Erntezeit .................................................................................. 2 Groats

XHILIPEPA AND TIKLMI THE SKINK
By Xhilipepa <[email protected]>

    I challenged Lord Mazdamundi's fastest skink to a race! Mazdamundi laughed outright, but as I insisted he organised a track, and many Lizardpeople flocked to watch us. As the bell went, the celebrated Tiklmi (for that was his name) streaked ahead of any competition such as a halfling. However, the famed halfling intellect came into play.

I had fed the entire gathering some Chilli con Carne before the match (running on Chilli con Pisci can occasionally be explosive, and I had no desire to incur the wrath of the great Mazdamundi) and so poor Tiklmi had to make toilet stops every few yards! My stomach of course was accustomed to such rigorous nourishment, and so I kept running with no difficulty, the nutritious chillis fuelling my desire to win.

And win I did! Against the fastest skink in all Lizarddom! As a token of appreciation Mazdamundi bestowed this beautiful and effective hand carved blowpipe made out of the wood of the mystical Itza tree. And from that moment on, having proven my worth, we two were the closest of companions - I now call him Mazzy. Due to my magnanimity, Tiklmi was not demoted, as I made the plea on his behalf that the Halflings were indeed the fastest race in the world, and he should not have been expected to
beat me. After such a display of speed and endurance Mazzy could not disagree, and so Tiklmi retained his place by his Lord's side.

But there are other species of Lizard - the greater-than-man-sized Saurus, for example, who can crush a man with a single blow. Of course, once challenged to a duel, Mazzy's best guard proved no match for me, but-

Ah, the chilli's boiling. Eat up, my good friend, and the tale of Xhilipepa and Lukbihindyu the Saurus shall wait for another time.